Author Topic: joke of the day  (Read 1762 times)

dhjunkie

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joke of the day
« on: April 10, 2004, 03:19:38 PM »
Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER ... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? \
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

jms

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joke of the day
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2004, 10:54:20 PM »
ever wonder why our noses run and our feet smell?
ok....rap music??
military intelagence?
soft rock?
is a frogs butt water proff?
if you pull the wings off of a fly is it a walk?
if a word is misspelled in the dictionary how will we know?
does the water ripple when a duck farts?

and yes i have my hat on and wearing my badger shirt!

dhjunkie

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Pilot hawk sent this
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2004, 07:18:56 PM »
I figured it needs to be here


The Budweiser Method of rating women



Three men are walking down the street.  One is from
California, one is
from New York, and the last is from St.  Louis by way of Willow Springs, Missouri.

A good looking woman walks by ...  the man from
California states "She's
about an 8."

The man from New York states "No, no ...  she's a 6."

The man from St.  Louis says "Hell no, she's a 1."

The two men look at the guy from St.  Louis and turn
to each other and
say, "Well, she was not that good looking."

All three continue walking down the strip.  As chance
happens another
woman walks by. She is more beautiful than the first.

The man from California exclaims "9"

The man from New York cries "8.5"

The man from St.  Louis says "2"

The man from California and New York State, "I guess
it takes all
types."

Finally an extremely beautiful woman crosses their
line of sight.

The man from California and New York simultaneously
state "10"

The man from St.  Louis states loudly, "3.5"

The man from New York asks the man from St.  Louis,
"What the hell is
wrong with you?"  "Are you gay?" "She was beautiful!"

The man from St.  Louis turns to him and says, "I'm
using the Budweiser
method."

The man from California asks "What is that?"

The man from St.  Louis responds "The Budweiser method
is to see how
many Clydesdales (horses) it would take to pull her
off my face."

tsutton44

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joke of the day
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2004, 08:05:12 PM »
i likee the budwieser method  :lol: