Ah- it's obvious that you have '89 Pilots.
They (89's) ALL grind when selecting gears. One of the upgrades Honda did for the '90 Pilots was some sort of syncronizer or a different cut or something (?) to help prevent it.
Blip the throttle and ease them into gear. As long as you're very light with your force on the lever to get the engagement, it's not going to hurt anything.
It does sound horrible, doesn't it. :shock: